Saturday, May 27, 2017

27 May 2017

And...I'm back.  Hopefully for good.  It's been a year.  I'll leave it at that because I could devote an entire blog just to the stuff that's happened over the past 18 months or so.

Salient fact: having just ended an 18 year relationship, I am now currently single.  I'm not saying this in an effort to find a date or a new partner.  Right now at least I'm content with reorganizing this house (finally!) into a way that works for me and for all the hobbies, etc. that I'm into.  I spend a part of every day breathing a sigh of relief that the clutter is gone, that the unhappiness and frustration has left for greener pastures, and savoring the utter quiet of not having a television and/or cell phone games blaring for 12 hours a day.   There is something extremely valuable about silence.

Added bonus: I now have full control of the fridge and everything in it.  No gluten shall cross the threshold of this house ever again.  I can use all of the kitchen counters with no fear of wheat crumbs finding their way into my food.

And now I can seriously start experimenting with gainer shakes.  I can mix up large quantities to leave in the fridge without anyone questioning what the hell I think I'm doing.

Right now toying with pasturized whole egg product mixed with dairy.  Going to start small with that one and work my way up as I have no idea how eating that much fat in one sitting will affect me.

I'm also making double batches of cookies and freezing half for later consumption - it helps to have them conveniently close at hand.

The idea is to work up to a regular diet of 5,000 calories per day and see where this takes me.

Currently at around 200 pounds.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

16 January 2016

And once again I've proven what a terrible blogger I truly am...

In the past four months my dog died.  And then my mother died.  It's been a rough time.

I'm back now though.  And I wish I could say in the intervening time that I'd stress eaten gained a ton of weight...but that would be a lie.  I'm still hovering around 200 pounds with the solid hope of getting bigger.

This coming week I've been volun-told that I have to spend a week in the office doing paperwork and I know that any time not spent on the work floor is generally a good time to gain.  I'm planning to stock up on snacks and stuff and see if I can put on a couple of pounds this week.

While I'm looking forward to the big gains, I think at this point I'm going to focus on whatever baby steps I can make.  Maybe by celebrating the small victories I can build up enough steam to tackle the bigger gains.

As always, words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.  Feel free to drop me a line at

Until later (hopefully not too much later!)...

Saturday, May 9, 2015

9 May 2015

And...I'm back...

And sadly to say not much has changed.  I'm still maintaining at a bit over 200 pounds.  I'm still eating what I consider to be crazy amounts of high fat, high carbohydrate food but am burning it off about as quickly as I eat it.  I was actually slowly losing weight in March/April until I got a bump from being off the work floor for a few weeks in classes, etc.and managed to gain about five pounds back.  And I guess to be fair, it's been a hellishly hectic time at work, as well as at home.  I have big hopes for the summer, especially since I've been able to wrangle a few weeks off.  More time to eat, less actual work being done should = some extra pounds.

That being said, I really DO have to start getting creative about gaining over the long term.  I'm either going to have to seriously 'up' my efforts with getting sufficient calories into me to start making progress or else I'm going to have to start taking it easier at work.  I guess doing both would be ideal and I guess I need to figure out exactly how to do that.

I'm still holding out hope of being able to find someone locally who would be willing to help me out.  I've met some very nice people through Grommr, etc but so far haven't been able to connect with someone who's really willing to go 'there' with me and really get me gaining.  I kind of think at this point it's just a fantasy to expect anything like this to happen but, like I said, I still choose to have hope...

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

18 February 2015

So now that I'm back in the saddle with respect to gaining, I admit I find myself wondering just how much further I could push myself...or I guess more correctly BE pushed...if I could connect with someone who would be willing to take me on as a 'project' and be aggressive about getting me to fatten up fast.

I know I've put out feelers for encouragers before and I definitely have a good working relationship with a few guys locally, but sometimes I find myself wishing there was someone out there who would be willing to help me take my gain to the extreme.

Imagine how much good even one solid feeding session a week would do...

Monday, February 16, 2015

16 February 2015

Eating...and eating...and eating...

It's paying off.  I'm feeling bigger around than I have for quite awhile.

Yesterday I had to run about six blocks and was utterly astounded at how much mass there is now in my belly and just how much different it feels now to run any distance at all.  To say that I'm getting jiggly is an understatement.

For right now I'm not really counting calories; I'm off the spreadsheet and basically back to eating as much as I can as often as I can without overdoing it. Spending lots at the grocery store lately but it's totally worth it.

Still working on gaining a couple of pounds a week during the spring and then leveling out again for the summer when stuff gets busy again.  I figure this will also give myself time to get used to being so much bigger.  Gaining 25 pounds over a few months might not seem like much to some people but for me, it's a big deal.  Gaining is an intense process - I've found that if I go too far, too fast, it's easy to get overwhelmed.  Even slow and steady gaining I'm doing is causing astonishing changes to what I look like and how my body moves. So far I'm enjoying the changes A LOT but I don't want to take it too far, too fast, and end up making myself sick either.

There will be a day, of this I am certain, that I'm going to tip the scales at 300 pounds +.  It might take me a stupidly long time to get there, but then, I can still remember a few years ago when I thought 200 pounds + might be unattainable!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

11 February 2015

And so...I'm back...after a particularly terrible Christmas season.  Terrible for reasons I won't get into, though I have to say there wasn't anything specifically bad.  It was just a big batch of 'meh' mixed in with too much work, too little sleep, a LOT of conflict (not my own fortunately) and not even close to enough time to eat.

From my last blog post in November until now, I dropped down to 195 (late December) and have managed to claw my way back up to 205.

I'm back down to part time hours as of a few weeks ago and this is what's making the difference.

I'm filling back out again and it feels REALLY good to be getting heavier again.

Working on a somewhat moderate timeline at this point: about five pounds a month.  Looking to be about 230 by the summertime.  I'm planning a trip to visit my family - won't have seen any of them for quite awhile by then.  Last they saw me I was in the high 180s and am expecting some comments about my (hopefully) 50 pound gain.

Anyway, not much else to report and certainly nothing photograph worthy right now.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014


So having been thrust feet first into our busiest season of the year (I currently work on a loading dock for a company that has a big share of the parcels business) my entire life has become about work, sleep, snatching something to eat, repeat, repeat, repeat...

I can tell right now there will be no further gaining for me until at least January.  My goal at this point is simply to maintain my weight at over 210 pounds.  This will be a huge accomplishment seeing as I'm burning crazy amounts of calories at work...heavy manual labour combined with working in extremely cold conditions for long hours.  Last year I lost 10-15 pounds over the 10 weeks that included Christmas just because of this.  

If I can make it to January the same weight I am now...for me this will be a huge WIN.